Embracing, Normalizing, and Transforming Anger
The intention of an anger management program is to help members gain emotional regulation skills while learning how to express and understand their anger healthily. While anger is not inherently good or bad, it is often repressed, rejected, and villainized instead of being accepted as an important internal signal of being out of alignment with one’s needs and expectations. Much of the work within anger management is aiding in the navigation of identifying one’s anger earlier and responding to it before it becomes uncontrollable.
Unfortunately, anger is not commonly seen as a woman’s emotion, even though it is experienced just as frequently by all genders. Additionally, there are often more social consequences for women when they express their grievances using anger or more directly aggressive communication tactics. With societal expectations of women presenting as agreeable and accommodating and pressure to embody nurturing behaviors, the expression of anger is often portrayed as an unacceptable and abnormal emotional experience for women. The lack of understanding and acceptance of women’s anger can furthermore be used to devalue their experiences and valid concerns when expressed while activated. Many women who struggle with anger deal with cycles of repressed frustrations and expectations until they are pushed past their emotional capacity. With a culture that often attempts to reward women for being accommodating, much of the work of anger management is about learning the value of embracing more assertive communication while creating and maintaining healthy and realistic relational boundaries.
Why should you attend a Woman’s Anger Management Class?
One of the many values of an anger management group can be found within how the setting works towards destigmatizing anger and creating a community for an often isolating emotional experience. Whether participants are mandated or attending on a volunteer basis, it is a safe space where women can come together to learn new ways of showing up for themselves and changing their relationship with anger. Women’s anger is often influenced by societal expectations based on unrealistic demands and pressures without much time to process or identify what one needs to thrive. Weekly attendance of an anger management group works towards reorienting individuals towards self-affirming habits, reminding them to slow down and be more intentional with navigating through their lives.
How can you get the most out of Women’s Anger Management Classes?
- Find a space you feel comfortable attending and openly expressing your experiences. The benefit of an all women’s anger management group is commonly perceived as its ability to create a space that honors women’s unique societal pressures and allows room for shared female empowerment.
- Engage with the tools provided weekly and commit to attending regularly. Consistent attendance for the first few months can make a huge difference in transforming one’s habits. For it to make a difference, you have to commit to doing the work.
- Be kind to yourself along the way. Acknowledging one’s unhealthy dynamics with anger can be overwhelming. Changing how you show up takes time and intentionality. So much of shifting one’s relationship with anger involves creating more empathy for yourself and others, so remember that kindness goes a long way.
- Honor your wins! Desiring something different for yourself is something to be celebrated. Advocating for your needs and finding new ways to show up is complex, and your successes deserve to be acknowledged along the way.
Carly Rose Schwan is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist at Avedian Counseling Centers with offices in Glendale and Sherman Oaks. She is trained in fields such as Anger Management and Couples Therapy. She currently works under the licensed supervision of Chrys Gkotsi, LMFT #113638.
