Three Key Thoughts that can Defuse Anger Quickly

Three Key Thoughts that can Defuse Anger Quickly

October 7, 2011 Anger Management Communication Skills Empathy Stress Management 1

Sometimes it is hard to remember all the tips and remedies for defusing anger. When you experience a situation with someone that results in feeling upset, the following three principles are basic to dispelling and/or preventing anger from arising.

1. Think: This situation is not meant personally against me. This person is having a bad day. I have had bad days and know that I do not always put my best foot forward under those circumstances. I must find out more so I will ask the person disarming questions (if possible) about how his/her day is going. I call this the “Not -Personal Principle.”

2. The Golden Rule applies: Am I treating this person as I would like him/her to treat me? (Irrespective of how I think they are treating me). I call this the “Respect Principle.”

3. Ask yourself: Do I need to fight this battle now? At all? If not, I should take a break and tell this person that I will get back to him/her later (specific time) when I am able to think more rationally and I respectfully hope that he/she will do the same. I call this the “Another Time Principle.”

In the meantime one can review other ways of problem-solving or dispute resolution which may eliminate the problem altogether in the long-run.

Author: Michael L. Hecht, MA, MFT
October 4, 2011


One Response

  1. family counseling Metro Atlanta says:

    There are many ways on how to diffuse one’ anger. This information that you shared are some of it. It is important that there are ways to manage the emotion so that it cannot cause any destruction. Thanks for sharing this helpful article.

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